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The
Social benefits of CLI Circles
As the voices
fade away, I find my physical body lying quietly on
the massage table, but inside, I'm anything but
quiet. Mentally, I'm in another whirlwind of
anticipation. I can hardly wait to
confront Jazbell with my insight. I know
-- I just know I am right. My mind is
spinning with thoughts about writing a book
describing CLI Circles and what that book will mean
to those who read it.
If I'm any good
at my craft, the book I write will inspire the
creation of a vast number of safe-sex sharing
situations. Hundreds of thousands,
perhaps even millions of people will reduce or
eliminate their sexual frustrations and eliminate or
greatly reduce their need to indulge in domination,
sexual violence, or those all-to-pervasive
money-for-sex situations.
Writing a book
and telling the world about the CLI Circle arts and
how to apply them to your life is a way to bring
more love, freedom, peace, harmony and joy into the
world. The book will tell people how to
share in the type of intimacy, care and love that
I'm experiencing today -- the intimacy, care and
love that Jazbell says is so common in CLI Circles.
Publishing the
book about CLI Circle sharing will inspire sexual
freedom, and because sexual freedom is so closely
related to political freedom, the book will increase
freedom in every other aspect of human life. For a
moment, I think of the equally strong
correlation between sexual repression and violence.
It will also reduce the harmful effects of those who
are presently promoting sexual repression.
 30-1
I shout
to myself, Just plain WOW! The
implications of what such a book could produce are
phenomenal. Either Jazbell is a genius
or she is getting guidance from a very loving God.
Either way I'm delighted to be a part of it.
I am so
completely lost in my realization and its
consequences that I miss much of the joy of the
massage I am receiving. Even so, when
Eric and Frederica finish, we both express our
sincere gratitude and tell them we’ll be leaving
soon. We each receive a genuine hug from
both of them and an invitation to return soon.
Then they head back to their home.
As soon as they
leave, I go to where I left my extra clothes and
find a quarter. I return to Jazbell, I
hand her the quarter and say, “OK, kiddo, I know
what’s up.”
She looks at me
with puzzled eyes. I say, “Do you
remember our second meeting a Giorgio’s?”
30-2
“Yes,”
she says. She still looks puzzled.
“A
penny for your thoughts,” I say. She
smiles and that endearing sparkle of mischief lights
up her eyes.
“Do
you recall where that conversation went and how it
ended with the words, ‘Put your quarter away
but keep it handy’?”
“Yes.”
“Well,
here’s your quarter.” I place it in her
hand.
She looks at
the quarter, then back at me and her smile broadens.
“OK, clever man, what’s the quarter for?”
“For
the book you want me to write about CLI Circles.”
“You
do have a very creative mind, don’t you?
Good deductive reasoning, Stoney! Yes,
you’re correct. Jim and I decided to
publicize the CLIC concepts and I agreed to find a
writer.”
I say, “That
book could trigger a profound social/sexual
transformation.”
“We
know. That’s why we want it written.”
“So
am I to be that writer?”
“Only
if you want to be.”
“No,
I’d rather write about fat-assed princes and new
greenhouses.”
“As
you will; however, if you change your mind, please
let me know.”
“OK,
now who’s being the smart ass?”
She laughs and
says, “What goes around comes around.”
“Yes,
I do choose to be that writer.”
“Good.
I’ll tell Jim and we can talk about the details
later.”
I say, “I hope
I’m more than just a business deal for you.”
She remains
silent. The sparkle in her eye dims.
I look at her and repeat my question. “I
hope I’m more than just a business deal for you?”
Finally, to my
relief, she says, “You needn’t be concerned
about that.”
“That’s
more good news,” I say.
“OK,”
she says, “Let’s gather up our things, clean
up any messes we’ve made, and head back to town.”
In about thirty
minutes we are out the door and on our way home.
I’m so hyper that I insist on driving.
Jazbell seems very mellow while I’m jazzed; so on
the way home, we just share each other’s presence,
mostly in silence.
What I don't
realize, at this time, is that our day together has
triggered Jazbell’s relationship fears and has
pushed her into a deep emotional turmoil -- a
turmoil that is the mirror image of my own.
It's not until much later that I find out that one
part of her is falling in love with me while another
part is deeply into fear and is madly running away.
As for my conflict, I’m already very much in love
with her, but I’ve promised to keep our relationship
purely professional, and I'm doing so out of fear
that if I confess my real feelings, she'll run away.
In spite of my
intellectual promise, when I look at her, I find
myself being swept away by waves of emotion.
I also find myself sitting on a fence between heaven
and hell — heaven because I’m physically near her
and hell because I can’t really be close to her —
heaven because I can see her and hell because I
can’t hold her in my arms —heaven because I love her
and hell because I can’t tell her -- heaven because
I’m overjoyed with love and hell because, as close
as I am to her, I may never experience her love for
me.
Obviously, I'm
also going to share that part of our story with you,
but the depth of our conflicts and how we resolve
them are another story for another day.
In the mean
time, the drive back is uneventful except that
Jazbell shares with me one more piece of new
information. She says that it took her
only seven days from the time she and Jim decided to
publicize the CLI Circles for her to find me.
I want to know more about this, but I figure that
that, too, is another story for another day, so I
don’t ask any questions.
This has,
indeed, turned out to be a truly extraordinary day.
End of Chapter
Thirty One -- The Awakening
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